Women's Fitness With Charlene

Can you be THIN and Unfit?

2012-05-26T06:17:00.000-07:00

We seem to accept the fact that thin people are healthy. It is possible to be lean and unhealthy just as it is to be overweight and and healthy. If you are exercising to lose weight, don't quit out of frustration or from lack of results...you are still reaping the benefits of physical activity such as, reducing blood pressure, stimulating bone growth, improving balance, protecting against injury, the list can go on and on.

Obesity is associated with bad health. When I look at lineman on a pro football team, nearly all of them are overweight, but I bet most of them can run a 40 yard dash in 5 seconds. These 300 pound men can run faster and are more fit than men half there size.

I'm not giving the ok to go ahead and disregard your body fat levels and just focus on exercise. The important thing is you should never quit exercising, even if you have not seen weight loss or it has slowed down. Not every benefit of exercise is visible from the outside! Physical fitness is the biggest deciding factor for good health.

What do you think...is it possible to be fat and fit, or lean and unfit?

Now, if this has motivated you to start exercising please contact me. I have many Boot Camps located in Concord and Mayfield.

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Join my 90 day weight loss challenge

Have a drink with me?

2012-05-17T09:51:00.002-07:00

Now that I have your attention...I'm not talking about margaritas. Even Doctor Oz will agree that meal replacement shakes are an effective, easy way to drop pounds. . Protein shakes are designed to provide a maximal amount of nutrients in a form that is unlikely to promote body fat storage.

The right shake can boost your metabolism by 25%. And lucky for you I have done the homework. I have tried several protein shakes available! There are actually a few that you have to hold your nose to get them down. I have learned from my clients, if it taste bad they are not going to drink it no matter what health benefits it may have. Here are just a few that I have tried and are still in my kitchen.

When trying to lose weight, you can't skip breakfast. In fact, even if you do not want to lose, you should never skip breakfast. Your metabolism does not wake up until you feed it. So if you get up at 7:00AM and do not eat until noon, you have missed out on 5 hours of calorie burning!

I would like you to join my 90 day challenge. You can pick the program you want to follow for 90 days. The balance kit is only $49.00 a month for 3 months, hence the 90 day challenge. There are larger kits for those that have more than 15-20 to lose. These shakes taste wonderful! In fact my son says they taste better than McDonald's shakes. I make 3 of them every morning for my family. I feel good knowing they are off to a healthy start. Here are the 3 we had this morning. Mixed with almond milk, some ice cubes and a few berries.

Do you eat breakfast?

Join My 90 Day Challenge Here

CROSSFIT

2012-05-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

So recently I started doing a new type of exercise called crossfit. That's me in the photo. This is not your typical gym. There are no cardio machines, nor are there traditional hand weights lying around. Sometimes these sessions even take place in the parking lot. The equipment is pretty low tech...a box (I've learned to hate this box), medicine balls and kettlebells.

Crossfit combines weightlifting, gymnastics and interval training. The idea is to do short WOD, this is a crossfit term meaning Workout of the day, (10-15 minutes) high intensity routines that are different each time. These workouts shock the muscles so they never get comfortable doing the same thing. And YES my body is still in shock after Saturdays workout!

The results can be weight loss, toning and oh ya, badly calloused hands are part of the deal. In fact my husband and son who both do the class with me, or should I say "I do the class with them", are missing skin from their hands.

These workouts have names too. You can google them and find out what they are. For example CINDY is 5 Pull Ups, 10 Push-Ups and 15 Squats. You will do AMRAP this is also a standard crossfit term meaning As Many Rounds As Possible in a set amount of time. So in 15 minutes you try to beat the other crossfitters! without having to use a puke bucket. At the end of 15 minutes I can't do another rep...not for money, a donut or even a margarita. I am spent! And I usually come in last, UGH!

There are some modifications but not many. For instance I am not ready, willing or able (not sure which) to jump on a 20 inch box, so I stack up two plates and use that for my box jump. I think it's a mind thing but I am afraid to jump up on the damn box. I want you to try it and let me know if you can do it. Stand next to a kitchen chair and jump onto it with both feet. It sound easy but I have not found anything in crossfit to be easy yet.

Do you mix up your workouts?

May Plank Challenge

2012-05-01T05:30:00.002-07:00

JUST DO IT!

May Newsletter

2012-04-30T06:54:00.002-07:00

Follow this link to see my May Newsletter that turn-signal.com created for me!

Newsletter

BIg Fat Lie!

2012-04-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

You don't need a trainer to achieve maximum results.
A recurring theme in fitness magazines is the idea that you can do your body transformation on your own – no personal trainer needed. It's a great theme for the magazine since it means you'll keep buying the latest issue for your fitness advice. The truth is that people serious about achieve amazing transformations always seek out professional coaching to ensure their success. All serious athletes have trainers.

Real results are achieved with the guidance of a professional trainer.

If you have a goal you've yet to achieve then reach out to me.

Call or email today and I'll get you started on a program that will make your goals a reality.

Contact me!

Why Can't I lose Weight?

2012-04-24T06:29:00.001-07:00

If there is one question that I hear over and over, this would be it! I obviously don't have all the answers, nor do I pretend to, but I have some great tips that might help answer this question for you.

The biggest reason for not being able to lose is Strength Training. Often people who can't lose do not do this. The more muscle that you have the faster your resting metabolism will be. If you have been Strength Training and the weight is not coming off, then you are not pushing hard enough. I was training a women and she always wanted to do lat pull downs with 40 pounds. I moved the pin to 80 pounds and her mouth fell open. She said "I can't do that" (by the way I hear the can't word a lot too.) I told her "yes you CAN do it and you will do 8 reps". Well, yes she did do it, and I told her thats what all her reps should feel like. She was merely going through the motions of a work out and not struggling.

Eating mindlessly is another reason for not losing. A little here and a little there add up. I ask all my clients to use the site called Loseit.com. You can get an app for your phone or go on-line but either way this is a great way to track your food intake and exercise. Only about half of my clients are willing to do this claiming they don't have time. Once you get use to the site and have your food programed in there, it does not take much time. Just Do It!

Holding on to the treadmill. This is a pet peeve of mine. The body can not burn more fat if you are doing make believe walking. Instead pump those arms and get winded. I actually make my clients that want to hold on to the treadmill carry a weighted ball over their head.

Skipping Breakfast is another pet peeve of mine, especially if you work out in the morning. IF your gas tank is empty, instead of burning fat, you may actually break down your muscle. And isn't that the reason you are working out to begin with, is to increase muscle? I eat a protein bar on my way to the gym at 6:00AM. If you would like to buy some let me know. These ones are from Slim & Fit cost $2 each and have 10 grams of protein.

Diet Soda. I love them too, but they tend to trigger hunger. Go for the water instead.

Tax season is over and summer is just around the corner. Now is the time to start exercising!

Sign up for Boot Camp or Personal Training

Let's Talk Fitness

2012-04-13T07:17:00.000-07:00

Chances are if you are reading this, you know how important exercise is. Then...why is society so out of shape? We don't get off our butts enough and move. I read somewhere that 7 out of 10 americans don't exercise. Are you one of those 7? The majority of you probably sit behind a desk all day then go home and sit in front of the TV.

Here are few things that I have learned that help me to stay motivated. Set a goal for yourself. Sign up for a local 5k run. I can hear you now saying I can't, but you can!! It takes 21 days to make a habit. Give exercise that long and it will become part of your routine. Don't over do it. I'm not saying go to the gym and walk on the treadmill at a snails pace. I've seen people do this. I am a believer that most people do not push themselves hard enough. Go hard and sweat like crazy. Just start off slow and build up as your conditioning improves. Exercise does not have to be in a gym. Go to the park and play on the jungle gym or go for a hike. Find something that will get your heart rate up.

Today I found the rowing machine to get my heart rate up!

I am providing you with one of the workouts we recently did in my bootcamp. If you don't want to attend a class try it at home. I will tell you it's more fun in class though. We can modify all these exercises to fit your ability. You can look all of these exercises up on you tube. Let me know if you tried it...

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Great Deal!

2012-04-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Here is a link for a great deal on Living Social!

Come work out with ME @ Mayfield Location

Healthy Cookies..Who knew?

2012-03-30T10:26:00.001-07:00

I usually do not post recipes on this blog but wanted to share this one with you. I do not like cooking or baking but these healthy cookies are easy! I have been trying to find healthier recipes to keep my cholesterol in check. This week I was down 4 pounds just from cutting read meat out of my diet. I'm not saying that I won't find those 4 pounds again over the weekend, as this is usually what happens to me. I also purchased a new diet book...I know, I know, I own so many diet books but this one is specifically about keeping cholesterol down. There is some great info in this book. I purchased it for my iPad. If you are looking for something like this I highly recommend it.

Sorry I got off the beaten path here. Back to the recipe. It's called NO-BAKE Energy Bites. The NO-BAKE part is what I like. Everyone in my family liked these. Here you go.

- 1 cup (Dry) Oatmeal (I used old-fashioned oats)
- 1 cup toasted coconut flakes
- 1/2 cup chocolate chips (I used mini chips)
- 1/2 cup peanut butter (I used natural)
- 1/2 cup ground flaxseed
- 1/3 cup honey
- 1 teaspoon vanilla

Stir all ingredients together in a medium bowl. Let chill in the refrigerator for half an hour. Once chilled, roll into balls, mine were approximately 1" in diameter. Store in an airtight container and keep refrigerated for up to one week.

I don't have the nutritional facts but they are about 100 calories.

ENJOY

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April Homework

2012-03-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

Here is some homework for April. Print and put on your refrigerator. Put an X through each day that you follow the rules. Good luck...

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Yearly Physical

2012-03-23T06:23:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I had my yearly physical, always fun right? I was recently reading an article about how doctors tell you to lose weight but do not offer advice on how to do this. The article stated that two/thirds of doctors will not even discuss losing weight with you. I have to wonder if they don't have the time or if they do not know enough about weight loss to touch on the subject. How can they not be prepared for this when they deal with stuff like hemorrhoids, and toe fungus, EWE! My doctor is not one of these. She hounded me for years to lose weight and exercise. Today she gave me the, and I quote here "Everything looks perfect". I can't remember the last time someone told me I was perfect. Although I do not feel perfect yet...It certainly made my day.

Wouldn't it be great if doctors had personal trainers on their staff? (I think it would be awesome) All of the patients that need to start an exercise program could be sent to the trainer. It would be even more great if the insurance companies paid for this! It would be much cheaper for insurance companies to pay for exercise, than to pay for the side effects of obesity such as cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, stroke...the list can go on and on.

Again my physical went really well. I discussed the aches and pains I have in my knees and feet and asked if it could be related to the cholesterol medication that I take. She told me that is definitely a side effect. She said I am on, and again I quote her "A baby dose" of cholesterol medication. She thinks the pain is from all the exercise I do such as running and bootcamps but the positives of exercise out weigh the negatives (DUH) so I will continue on.

The doctor has given me permission to go off of the cholesterol medication until May to see if I feel better. There is one condition though and it's a big one for me. I have to eliminate red meat, cheese and eggs from my diet. Eggs will not be a problem as I only eat the egg whites. Cheese will be difficult as I love cheese on my salads and I eat a lot of salads but I think I can do it. Red meat on the other hand may be impossible but I am going to give it a whirl. Already my thoughts are on Easter that is right around the corner. Everybody eats ham and eggs on Easter. Do I eat it just this one day or avoid it all together?

If you have any good recipes for dinner that don't include red meat and fat, Please send them my way.

Now I am off to my mammogram, UGh........

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I HATE/LOVE the Treadmill!

2012-03-07T07:16:00.000-08:00

This treadmill thing just doesn't get any easier, UGH! Yesterday I read a blog that another trainer wrote about how running can be making you fat. I so bad wanted to believe this so I could quit running on the treadmill. Deep in my heart I know this is not true. I will probably not be the first to tell you it has to be combined with strength training, unfortunately you need to do both...cardio and strength training. Running works for me so I will keep at it. Watching The Biggest Loser last night when one of the contestants ran at 10.0 just amazes me. I am positive I will not be attempting that anytime soon...well unless Dolvett is standing next to me in those tights he had on last night, WOW!

Now back to my Hate/Love relationship with the damn treadmill.

HATE: I hate that I run and never get anywhere.
LOVE: I Love how you make my stats super visible.

HATE: I hate that the guy next to me is not wearing deodorant.
LOVE: I love to people watch.

HATE: I hate that it's easy to go slow with a touch of a button.
LOVE: I love having the ladies room and drinking fountain close.

HATE: I hate when people want to talk...I can't bust my ass and talk at the same time.
LOVE: I Love that you are always there, even when it's dark, cold and rainy and at hotels when I travel.

OK, OK, I guess at the end of the day I really do LIKE (and I said like) you.

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Bikini Season :\

2012-03-06T07:08:00.000-08:00

March is such a weird month. It seems like it should be spring but the temperature says not yet. So for know we are in weather limbo, but bikini season is on it's way. (Mine only gets worn in my back yard, but none the less it's almost that time.) I found these tips to get ready for the season in my "Fitness" magazine. So wanted to share.

1. Don't Skip Meals - It's very hard for me to convince my clients of this. For some reason they want to skip breakfast. Myself...I wake up because I am hungry. Get some food in that belly first thing so you can get that metabolism going! Greek yogurt, egg whites, fruit all good and quick things!

2. Snack A Lot - Snacks are mini meals to get you to the next meal. My favorite is a protein shake. Try to keep it under 200 calories but make the calories count. Two - 100 calorie cookie snacks don't count! When I give my clients at Slim&Fit our food plan...they look at me like how am I going to get all that food in? There are 3 meals and 3 snacks. As long as you are choosing the right foods, it's a lot.

3. Carbs Are A Friend - There seems to be a love/hate relationship with carbs. You need carbs for energy, don't eliminate these especially if you are exercising. Get them from fruits and beans. If the craving for a bagel comes up, go ahead and have one but first scoop out the middle of it. You will be cutting out half the calories!

I will be the first to tell you, I am not an angel when it comes to these tips. I try everyday, some days it works and some...not so much. Thanks goodness I do like to exercise!

Morning Boot Camps!

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March Homework

2012-03-05T07:31:00.000-08:00

You don't have to belong to a gym or even a fitness class to get in some exercise. Attached is some homework for you to do everyday in March. You don't have to do it all at once. Divide it up over the day. It requires no equipment, so there are no excuses. Print it out and "Just Do It"!

Let me know if you completed your homework!

Morning Boot Camp

2012-02-29T06:37:00.000-08:00

For those of you that live in the Concord area and want to get your work outs done early. I will be teaching Boot Camps on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings at 6:00AM and 7:00AM. Below is the link with all the information. Hope to see you in April.

Boot Camp News Letter

My Web Site

Exercise Anyone?

2012-02-28T07:12:00.000-08:00

Why Do You Exercise? You know if you asked me this questions 25 years ago, I would of lied and said to be healthy. For those of you who don't know me, I was an amateur bodybuilder back in the 1980's. In all honesty I exercised 25 years ago for the look. And I did get the looks, but was I fit?

Hardly anyone exercises for health or to improve functional fitness. As a trainer the main reason that people start with me is weddings, reunions, or just to fit into skinny jeans. How many of you reading this post have started an exercise program to lower cholesterol, reduce your risk of injury or just to feel better?

I to like to work out to change how my body looks. I did enjoy having a fit toned body, but I have changed my training so that I am actually healthy. I use a variety of training protocols including, kettle bells, weights, resistance bands, stability, and have even incorporated some cross fit into my training. What good is looking fit if you can't balance on one foot or have a cholesterol of 300? Looking fit and wearing skinny jeans means nothing...you must be fit and healthy!

I'd rather see you perform step-ups, one legged squats or swiss ball roll-outs to build functional strength. Next time you decide to start a new exercise program or diet, make it about being healthy.

I will be adding some early morning boot camps starting in April. Bookmark this blog! Updates will be coming soon.

AM Bootcamps coming soon

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Perfect Sucks!

2012-02-17T12:40:00.000-08:00

At age 48, I'm a proud mother of two boys. Married to a great guy and trying my best to keep fit and healthy, while trying to hep others do the same. As most of you know I had great success with the 2010 News Herald Lighten Up Contest.

Well that was nearly 2 years ago. I continue to exercise, run and focus on weight loss. If I have learned one thing, it is that PERFECT SUCKS. Don't strive for it. It does not exist. I have heard Jillian Michaels say it herself. Transformation is not an end result, it's something you do everyday. Setting goals is good but don't see it as an end. Work toward transforming yourself each day in different ways.

I am not striving to be perfect and neither should you. I do try to better myself everyday, if even just a little. Lets keep working together to be stronger, more fit, healthy and happy. I'm here for you and so many of you are here for me as well. On with this journey! Screw Perfect! It's a myth. We are real people and real people work hard, fail, succeed and help each other. Lets do this!

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What is your FITNESS Goal?

2012-02-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

I was thinking the other day about what makes some of my clients successful and others...not so much. For example I have two female clients that I was comparing. Client A is 5'6", 130ish pounds and has 18% body fat. Client B is the same height 5'6", and the same weight 130ish, but has 32% body fat. Trust me when I tell you that client A looks much, much smaller than client B. They look drastically different, even though they are the same height and weight.

My point is that the number on the scale should not be your only fitness goal. Set specific goals! My most successful clients are ones that set fitness goals and not weight loss goals. Women seem to be so wrapped up in the number on the scale.

If you are reading this I would like you to set a fitness goal. It may be to run a 5K, 10K or even just to walk these. It can also be something as small as, 5 boy push-ups, to hold a wall sit for 2 minutes. Find a reasonable goal and work towards accomplishing it! One you have done it, find another goal to work towards. I think you will have more success this way. Write your goal down and post it somewhere you see everyday.

I want all of my clients to set a fitness goal and email it to me, so I can help you with it. What will your fitness goal be?

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Good Sh!t to Get, If Your Working on Getting Fit.

2012-02-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

Oprah has her favorite things, so I thought I would share some of mine. Although I can't give any of these things to you, like Oprah does, I can provide you with a link to order for yourself if you want. Check them out!

Words to sweat by (gym towel). These are such a simple concept but I wouldn't of thought of it. They have an entire line of gym towels with cute sayings on them to help motivate and inspire you during your workouts. My favorites: There will be no jiggle in my wiggle and C is for crunches, not cookies.
http://www.wordstosweatby.com/shop

One mile running apparel. Got to love these shirts! My favorite: Will run for beer!
http://www.onemoremile.net/

iPod Nano. You can find the colorful iPod Nano at amazon.com for less than $120. They are available in different colors. This is a must tool for any type of workout. What's on your ipod?

Air Rope! You can buy these at amazon.com or power systems. They are a great workout and you don't have to worry about missing, you can never miss or trip with this rope.

Saved my favorite one for last. Yoga mats that can be customized with your own photo. Would be a nice little splurge!Pimp out your own mat at http://yogamatic.com/home.php

Happy Shopping!

Can You See the Change Now?

2012-01-25T08:52:00.000-08:00

One of my clients told me about a comment she received, when she told a friend she has been working out with a trainer for a year. As a kid I was always told "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Obviously this person did not follow this rule, she told my client that she has not seen any change in her over the year. Since she didn't follow the rule, I need to comment on this. Besides it gave me a great think to blog about. Thank-You.

There are many reason to work out with a personal trainer, and not all of them are VISIBLE TO THE EYE. I am finding out that one of the most important reasons to work out with a trainer is, you are held accountable to attend your work outs. If you join a large gym and decide to miss a work out, who cares? If you do not show up to my boot camp or personal training session, at least you will have to come up with an excuse. By the way this week the number one excuse was " I have to take my dog to the vet" heard it twice, and maybe its true but thought I would share.

Another reason, NOT VISIBLE OT THE EYE, you will fight off osteoporosis. The key to this one is consistency. Strength training over time maintains bone mass, especially in post-menopausal women. You can not see Osteoporosis but it does effect a lot of women.

You will feel Empowered! Lifting weights comes with a big self-esteem boost. Empowerment is not something the EYE can see.

Prevent Injuries. Build up muscle around your joints, and you will help prevent injuries. If you are not injured your EYE can not see this. Break a leg or hip and we can all see that.

Carrying a baby on your hip, carrying groceries into the house, walking up steps, the list goes on and on...all of these chores become easier to us, even though the EYE can not see this.

Some people just don't get it, but they will, and hopefully it's not to late!

Fat Wars!

2012-01-19T11:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday in the ladies locker room I overheard someone say "My fat cells are trying to battle my workouts efforts". I seriously laughed out loud. Hey, I feel the same way some days!

Fat Cells stick to us in places that bug us the most, and that spot is different for everyone. They smile at us when we display them in the summer. Exactly the reason we should be fighting the war right now. So we can wear what we want this summer.

For me, I don't feel like the war has been won yet. It's more like I have settled for what I've done so far, until I get that bathing suit out for the first time this spring. I guess I don't feel like putting in enough work to look like Jillian Michaels. Most people hit the gyms about this time of year in hopes of looking great come summer. But the majority of people will look the same come summer.

It does not have to be this way. We (including me) need to step up in this war and do our part. Fat finds a way to hang on our bodies...it hides in our favorite drinks, foods and even adult beverages, and tries to take us down. I feel like my clients are soldiers fighting a war and I am the General giving them the knowledge to win the war.

It is ridiculous that as much as I hated math growing up, losing weight is nothing more than a simple math equation. It's like my 8th grade math teacher is forcing math problems into my adulthood.

Make 2012 summer a great one! Start fighting that war now.

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Missing some work outs? There is an APP for that!

2012-01-10T12:19:00.000-08:00

If you had to pay for a missed work out, I'm willing to bet the excuses would dwindle. Guess What? There is an APP for that! I am really kind of pissed that I didn't think of this. The APP is called GYM-PACT and available for the iPhone.

Download the APP (if you want to get serious about your work outs) and put money in your account. Make a pact with the service as to how many times you will go to the gym and for how long. When you get to the gym you check in through a GPS tracking feature. If you don't show up, you pay up, and the money gets deducted from your account.

"DID I MENTION HOW PISSED I AM, THAT I DIDN'T THINK OF THIS? DARN IT!

According to the women's health magazine I was reading, financial incentives work. Having money on the line or a chance of losing money, work better than cash incentives.

I think this APP should be mandatory for my clients! Just thinking out loud here.

If you are afraid to download this APP, make a weekly bet with your spouse, or trainer (TEE HEE) about the number of completed work outs each week. NO EXCUSES...If you fall short you must pay up.

Are you brave enough to download this APP?

2012 Resolutions

2012-01-01T11:39:00.000-08:00

Will 2012 be the year you focus on regular fitness and weight loss? Fitness resolutions are starting to pop up already. The gyms will see a rise in numbers this month, but this often drops as people give up on their goals after a week or two. Make sure you are not one of these people this year. Choose to train with a personal trainer. View my website at http://www.fitforcefitness.com/

If you are new to working out you will find that the first few weeks are the hardest. This is why many people give up. They over train or push themselves to hard in the beginning. They neglect to warm up before exercising, and to stretch after.

There are two great ways to follow through with your fitness resolutions. First one is to hire a personal trainer. I can teach you how to do the exercises correctly. We will develop a plan that will not over train you, and be most efficient to reach your goals.

The second great option is a boot camp class. Do not let the name scare you. This is a fun and interactive setting. You will be pushed on by motivating fellow boot campers and of course by ME. You will be able to push yourself further than ever before.

Each of these choices are great options. They both offer you motivation and support to enable you to start living the healthy lifestyle you have always wanted.

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Dear Diary

2011-12-19T08:24:00.000-08:00

Somebody sent me this email. Thought it was funny and wanted to share.

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my husband purchased for me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around.This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.

His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to
steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY
annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other sh*t
too..
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THURSDAY:
A$$hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny b*tch to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine - which I sank
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FRIDAY:
I hate that b@stard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
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SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked
the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
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SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!